Who is Pollyanna?

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A girl who enjoys sexual freedom. Who seeks pleasure through pain. Who is eager to explore her sexuality through friendship and experimentation. A girl who loves easily and wants to be loved, fucked and abused in return. A seemingly fragile flower who offers herself to trusted people as a plaything.

Oct 23, 2009

Fuck you and you and you

I've been thinking of sex with multiple people a lot lately and my thoughts are very much centred around me being dominated and being the centre of attention.

A threesome has always been something I've wanted to try. Except my ideal threesome would be with two men.

The men would have to be bisexual. I would want them to enjoy each other as much as me. Be comfortable being naked with other, carrying out sexual acts on each other as well as on me. I think I'd even be happy if I just got to watch them enjoy each other. And if both these men were dominant, that'd be heaven.

But given how much I enjoyed my first time with a woman I'm finally interested in a threesome with a couple. Being teased, tormented and abused by both of them. Being fucked by both of them in turn, she with a strap on. Forced to pleasure her by him. Forced to submit to her penetration as well as his.

My other multiple person fantasy right now is to be fucked by many men, one after the other. Being tied to the bed or over a desk, legs apart, all holes accessible. Blindfolded so I can't see who it is that's penetrating me. Being thrust into until one man is sated and then another takes his place. Or one fucking my mouth while another fucks my pussy or my arse. And through it all I'd be embarrassingly wet, my inner slut in her element.

Oct 10, 2009

A first time for everything

We sat facing each other, tension in the air. I wanted her, I thought she wanted me. Both of us too shy to make a move. I softly admitted to having a crush on her. She responded by leaning over and kissing me, softly, slowly. My mouth opened and I followed her lead. Not the first time I'd kissed a girl, but certainly the first time my body reacted like that.

She pulled back and smiled at me. I smiled back shyly then leaned in for more. So soft, so gentle, so different.

When she took my hand and led me upstairs I was uncertain, feeling truly like the virgin I was. She whispered that she would show me and asked was I going to be a good girl for her? I melted and was hers.

In the bedroom she kissed me again, then slowly removed my clothes until I was before her naked. More smiles as she told me I was beautiful and kissed me again, just as softly. Her hands gently moving over my body, caressing my neck, my breasts, my stomach. reassuring me.

I drank her in, intoxicated by her smell, her sweet touch, the thrill of the first time. Told me to lie on the bed, I watched her undress, admiring her body, greedily looking at it properly for the first time. Beautiful.

Then pressed her body on mine, and gently pinned me, kissing me all over, enjoying my reactions. Dipped her hand between my legs, found me wet and inviting. Kissed me as she stroked my most intimate place. All so soft, so gentle and so hot. The complete opposite of any sexual experience I'd ever had before.

Moved down my body, kissing and caressing as she went until she was between my legs and giving me sweet pleasure, the like I'd never felt before. So relaxed, so open to what she was doing. I writhed and moaned under her touch. Closing my eyes and losing myself in the wonderful sensation, opening them and looking into her beautiful eyes.

Until the pleasure reached its pinnacle, shocking me with its intensity.

I struggled to breathe and understand what had happened while she smiled at me, delighting in my reaction. We kissed deeply and I sought to give her the same pleasure. Dipping my hands into her intimate place, caressing her gently then more firmly in response to her moans. Watching her face with delight as my efforts overcame her. Watched in amazement as she reached her pinnacle. More satisfying than my own.

And slept the night wrapped around each other. The most beautiful first time a girl could ever wish for.

Sep 22, 2009

Just do it

I've posted that sex is all about being dominated and abused.

Sometimes that abuse takes a different form.

Like sex with Mr Shine. He's sweet and gentle, to begin with. Undressing me, touching and probing intimately, enjoying my wetness. Kindness. Until he forces me down on the bed, pushes my legs apart roughly, thrusts his fingers into me deeply.

Kneels above me, pins me down, pulls my hair, slaps my breasts, pinches my nipples. All the time telling me how bad and dirty I am.

Loves to fuck my ass, always face down on the bed or pushed over a chair. Rough, hard. Makes me moan with the sensation.

First time he fucked my ass, he ordered me to turn around and pushed straight into me. No time. No lube. Just ownership.

Just how I like it.

Sep 21, 2009

What dreams may come

I had a very hot dream the other night. No doubt inspired by a heavy weekend of play

In my dream playing with a female friend. Truth be told I have a serious crush on her, started off as non-sexual and now turning into curiosity. She's dommed me before, made me more excited than I thought possible, made me want to please her, do anything for her. And now I want more.

Hence my dream. She ordered me to kneel before her. I remember distinctly looking up at her, not knowing what to do. Fully aware this was the first time I had ever pleasured a woman. She smiled at me and touched my hair, drawing me towards her secret place.

Her hair was trimmed in a neat triangle, her skin looked so inviting, needing to be kissed. As I leaned in my mouth seemed to know what to do. I licked and sucked her, my tongue probed her intimately and I went faster, encouraged by her increasing moans. She came quickly, surprising me. Then gave me a very rewarding smile.

The hottest dream I've had for a long time.

Sep 12, 2009

Pollyanna and her orgasms

I don't come easily during sex or sexual play. It doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing. Usually the contrary, I've gone to such a place of ecstasy that I can't let go, I can't find release.

And I find that after a weekend of intensive play where I probably haven't had any release, it could be a few days before I even masturbate. But when I do, it's usually earth shattering, culminating with me screaming out loud.

It probably seems selfish that I do this alone, that my sexual partner isn't there to see the fruits of his/her labour as it were. But for years I've struggled with the the guilt of not coming to order, of disappointing vanilla partners for what they saw was a failing on either of our parts. Now I'm comfortable enough to say that orgasms are a limit for me!

So I'm upfront with all my partners. I don't come during sex, and I'd rather you didn't focus on trying to make me. Yes Ill be squelchingly wet and yes I'm moan and whimper with gusto, but I won't come. And nothing is guaranteed to turn me off more than if you spend hours trying to make me.

For those who think I'm merely throwing down the gauntlet, who think that you are better than every other man or woman I've ever slept with, that you can do it for me, I'm not interested in playing with you. I know my own body better that you ever will. Trust me on this. I can only come if there's no pressure, no expectation and no timeframe.

Your patience and understanding of this limit may one day reward us both, but until then, coming is a solitary pleasure for me.

Sep 2, 2009

Rewarding Pollyanna

Mr Rain can seem very cruel. He loves me to make me cry. Loves to beat me until my whimpers turn into tears. Loves to know he has that power over me.

Touches me, makes me squelchinginly wet and then fucks me for his pleasure only. I am for his use. A plaything to be abused.

And the more abused I feel the wetter and more turned on I become.

But there is no release, not when I am with him. He doesn't reward with pleasure, he rewards with pain. And I love it.

Aug 18, 2009

A Public Lesson

The first time I played with Mr Zest he dominated me so easily it scared me. We played at our local club and he immediately set about getting into my head. Once he had my head I was powerless.

He blindfolded and pushed me against the wall and roughly pinched and probed me. Fingers touching me everywhere. I was so turned on I was ashamed.

Then ordered me to kneel in front of him, hands behind my back. Made me spread my legs apart til they hurt and it was an effort to stay in position. Twisted my nipples til I cried out. Then slapped my breasts hard for complaining.

Whipped my pussy with his crop, unrelenting until I tried to move out of position. Soft caresseses all over my body, disarming me before returning to pinching, whipping and probing.

Stripped me fully and tied me to the frame spread eagled. Legs stretched open and whipped again on my pussy as I wriggled in vain. Then roped my knees to hold me still. No respite from the probing hands, pinching my clit and the folds of my pussy.

Undid my blindfold so I could see the onlookers witnessing my shame. Made me watch as he trailed a hunting knife over my body, grazing my nipples enjoying my terror.

Flogged my back, legs and ass. Then my breasts. Each stroke burning me and heightening my pain, increasing my pleasure. Fucked me roughly with his fingers, laughed as I begged for more.
Teased me for my slutty behaviour.

Untied me to teach me a more serious lesson...

Aug 13, 2009

Bi curious

I'm curious about sex with a girl. What exactly do you do? Would I like it? The fact I'm not a fan of oral sex, is that a problem?

I need to be educated. It's one of the few remaining sexual experiences that I'm interested in but have yet to try. Of course I've kissed other girls and even touched their breasts and bottoms. But never actually had sex.

Still I have a good feeling that some girl on girl action is not far off. Hopefully at one of my next group parties. I've certainly signalled my interest to play with a girl or girls, in the right setting.

It will probably happen with a few girls. Maybe some Doms will also be in attendence. Could be an orgy.

But someone will have to be in charge of me. I love being told what to do in bed. It makes me very pliant and briefly submissive. And if I'm having sex with a girl for the first time I'll need direction. Yes, very thrilled at the prospect of losing my girl virginity!

Aug 5, 2009

Molesting Pollyanna

One of my playmates, Mr Rain, enjoys molesting me. He loves for me to lie there and let him do whatever he wants. We usually tie it up in some form of roleplay. I'll be his niece or pupil or a reformatory girl under his control.

There's never any physical struggle involved, I'm incapable of refusing him. He has absolute power over me. A struggle on my part would just earn me another beating. So I have to sit on his knee and let him put his hands in my knickers. Let him stroke me in my most intimate places, put his fingers inside me.

I get to a very powerful state of near genuine fear during these roleplay sessions. And sometimes I can't help whimpering and often I'm in tears. Truly feeling the emotions of that poor, abused girl.

And even though I know better, it always gets to a point where I try to pull away or I say no or beg him to stop. He doesn't like this. He wants me to a good little girl, not making any fuss. And then he'll take his belt off and strap me until I'm lying there sobbing and broken. Willing to let him continue unhindered.

Although I find that sitting or lying there passively is one thing, I can just about keep my anxiety in check. However, it's so much harder if I have to strip for him. Having to stand before him as I take my clothes off, having him ogle my body. Then standing in front of him, hands on my head, legs apart while he inspects me.

But even worse is having to participate by touching him. There's no hiding place from what's happening. No avoiding the cock hardening in my hand. Hoping that he'll be happy just to be touched, dreading what might come next...

Aug 3, 2009

Sexual freedom

Before I got into the BDSM scene I was inhibited during sex. I had desires that I thought were wrong and I held back from sharing them with most sexual partners, afraid of their reactions.

I eventually got with one guy who had some kinky desires of his own. Although they didn't exactly match mine I went along with them cos they were at least more interesting than regular sex.

He introduced me to sex shops, porn and anal and public sex. And I introduced him to spanking and roleplay. We then graduated to belts, whips, restraints, and towards the end, rape play. We both tried to compromise our kinks and had a lot of fun for a while until our differences meant we finally drifted apart.

So I went back to being inhibited with my dates. The more I liked them the more reserved I was sex wise. Until my rare one night stands became my only means of sexual freedom.

With these men I was completely uninhibited, asking for what I wanted. To be touched and fucked roughly. To be fucked in my mouth, my pussy and if I felt like it, my ass. I encouraged them to hurt me. Twisting my nipples, slapping my face, pounding into me so hard I gasped, scratching and biting me and even spanking me.

After one particularly great night where afterwards I was limp and sated I decided enough was enough. I couldn't go back to vanilla sex and vanilla relationships and having one night stands were not really for me.

And that's when I completely gave into my sexual desires and made peace with myself. I got into the BDSM scene properly and so far my journey has been very exploratory. I find my boundaries and limits are continually shifting. Some things I'd never do again, some things I have't had the inclination or courage to try yet. It's been a fun ride so far and I'm loving the freedom.

Aug 1, 2009

A damn good thrashing

Mr Storm is one of my semi-regular play partners. Apart from our play sessions we've nothing at all in common. I like the rough and detached way we play. Neither of us overly worries about the other. Replying on a mutual understanding of what we both need. We don't even bother with much roleplay. It's all about a serious thrashing. I love getting it. He loves giving it to me.

He likes for me to hold still and take my beatings quietly. My acceptance of what he is doing is part of the thrill for him. He likes knowing he can do what he wants to me. He likes trying to break me. Loves to make me cry. Our sessions are always severe and the marks often last for days. Sometimes I question playing with him. But the intoxicating intensity we reach always draws me back.

I don't expect sympathy or mercy and he doesn't show it. He will continue, each time increasingly sadistic, not stopping unless I safeword.

Before our last session he instructed me to insert my metal anal beads in my ass before I left my house. He knows this is hard for me. I'm never in the zone unless I'm there with him. Having to put the beads in myself, in my own house, feels dirty and wrong. Feelings he's very good at invoking.

With difficulty I comply, feeling uncomfortably full as I travel to his house. The compliance only serves to rise my defiance. I know it will be a tough session and I resolve to not let him break me. He loves the challenge I offer.

On entering his house I'm immediately told to strip and put on the clothes he has for me. This is the usual process. Him picking clothes I hate wearing and enjoying my sulking as I have to don them. I like pretty, girly clothes. He insists on leather and rubber. Black and unflattering. Exposing my pussy, ass and tits. And impossibly high heels. I can't walk in them and he laughs as I stumble around. I feel the degradation keenly

Bit by bit he's stripping away my defences.

When I'm ready he pushes me over the back of the couch. Rough fingers check my compliance with his orders. He finds the anal beads and tugs the string roughly and I can't help whimpering. Then laughs as his fingers find my already wet pussy, teasing me for being such a slut.

He spanks me hard and fast with his hand, making me feel the beads even more and pushing his free fingers into my pussy. I can't resist grinding myself onto them, acting like the shameful slut he wants me to be. Without warning he withdraws his fingers and quickly pulls the beads from my ass, making me moan in pain and shock.

'Stand up, hands on head, legs apart' he orders. 'I think we'll start with a nice caning before I take you downstairs and show you what you really deserve.'

I know what that means, being suspended with my hands tied to the ceiling, barely able to reach the floor. Then he'll take out his clamps and whips and beat me until I scream. Then he'll gag me, so he can beat me harder. And when he's satisfied with my surrender he'll untie me so I can kneel before him with my warm mouth and thank him for his attentions.

But for now a caning awaits. I look up as he stands in front of me. Two canes in his hands. His latest trick is to apply two at a time, One on my front thighs, the other on the back, or one on each side. Starting off slow until he builds harder and faster, until I can't stay still and get punished with hard, fiery strokes that bring tears to my eyes.

And the despair will set in, knowing we've only just begun.

Jul 31, 2009

The wonderful written word

I love the written word. It's always been more powerful to me than any picture or film. A written fantasy is much more likely to arouse me than anything else. I like to run the story through my mind. Paint it in as I choose. Insert my own characters, make it my own.

And I love to write. Except good writing requires discipline, something I often lack. On any given day I have several potent fantasies in my head. But rarely do I sit down and write them out. I make up excuses. Lack of time, being the main one.

Sometimes writing is effortless. I sit and type and the words flow. More often it's strained, the story I want to write won't come out. The characters are wrong, the sentiment too false, the plot unfeasible. So I appreciate good writing. Creativity, good turn of phrase, interesting plots, complete characters.

And when I'm horny and need release I reach for one of my favorite books or online stories and can get myself off almost immediately.

My current favorite is Fiona Locke's Over the Knee, where Angie experiences anal sex for the first time. Instant orgasm.

Jul 30, 2009

Am I submissive?

I struggle with submission. In my fantasy/play life that is. It doesn't feature anywhere in the real world.

Submission turns me on. I love to be told what to do and my pussy reacts accordingly. A simple order will make me wet. And I love to construct detailed fantasies around it, letting them swirl around my head as I pleasure myself.

But I think I love the idea of it more than anything. The idea of giving up complete control. The reality is somewhat different. I find it hard to obey when told to stand or kneel or stay still or wear this or that. The Dom must enforce it. Must punish me for any disobedience. I need to be trained. And a sharp does of pain pain does wonders.

So I can't submit voluntarily. I don't want to submit voluntarily. The turn-on is in the force, being made to do it.

Strangely I'm much more submissive when it comes to sex, without BDSM play. Eager to please, eager to be obedient, eager to have all control taken away from me. I don't quite understand why.

Jul 28, 2009

Pollyanna hates receiving oral sex

I hate oral sex. Not giving it, receiving it. At least with men anyway. Maybe I need to try it with another girl. (A whole other story).

I just find it boring. Too soft. Too slow. Too pointless. So many better things to be used than a tongue. Rough fingers, a strong vibrator, a hard cock.

To frustrate me my play partners tie me up with my legs spread wide and force it on making me squirm while I struggle to get off on it. They love to give me what I don't want. That's the paradox of BDSM. I love the things that I don't ask for, love the things that hurt me most.

And then there's the certainly that the gentle tonguing is just a prelude to the hurt and pain to come. A way to heighten my anxiety. That when my guard is down that soft tongue will be changed for a strap and my clit will be whipped. Or hot wax will be dripped on me. Or a hard cock will thrust into me with no warning.

But even in being forced to endure oral sex, there is some pleasure, I do love the forced submission. Just on it's own with no BDSM connotations, I hate it.

Jul 26, 2009

My personal epiphany

I used to only see sex as something that was part of being in a relationship with a boy. It was ok, nothing spectacular. I like the closeness and the connection but nothing else.

Didn't really see what the fuss was about. I only felt something if he got rough with me, tweaked my nipples or thrust into me hard. Then I'd get excited. But with most boys I just got bored if went on too long. That was before I realised I was into BDSM and that sex and intimacy with others is rarely about pleasure for me (as I discuss here).

I rarely orgasm during sex or BDSM play, or even after it. It's undeniable that I enjoy it. That it fulfils a powerful need in me, makes me unbelievably and nosily wet. That it takes me increasingly new heights of sensation.

And that is enough for me. To suffer and to experience and to feel. But rarely do I get a release. I don't choose it to be that way, it just is. And realising that and accepting that has been my own personal epiphany.

I don't need to cum during sex or play for it to be great, meaningful or special.

Jul 25, 2009

Pollyanna loves sex

I love sex, but only in a certain way. The hard and dirty way. Not for me the gentle, careful intimacy of two lovers connecting.

I want it hard and dirty. I want to be taken. Forced. Abused. Hurt. To be owned.

My orgasmic pleasure is inconsequential. I rarely cum from sex. But I reach heights of ecstasy that are amazing. Heights from which there are no release. I get so turned on and pushed so far that I cannot actually cum. Every nerve ending on fire, screaming for relief.

The best sexual partners for me are those that are selfish. Who take what they want, Ignore what I might like. Fucking me hard and quickly. My face, my pussy, my ass. Whichever hole they want most. Whatever makes me whimper and cry and suffer.

I usually find such partners in the BDSM world. Sometimes they beat me first, with their hands, whips, canes and belts. Sometimes they tie me up, naked and spread open. A plaything to them.

Because that's how I like it. Dirty, painful and hard.