Just do it

I've posted that sex is all about being dominated and abused.

Sometimes that abuse takes a different form.

Like sex with Mr Shine. He's sweet and gentle, to begin with. Undressing me, touching and probing intimately, enjoying my wetness. Kindness. Until he forces me down on the bed, pushes my legs apart roughly, thrusts his fingers into me deeply.

Kneels above me, pins me down, pulls my hair, slaps my breasts, pinches my nipples. All the time telling me how bad and dirty I am.

Loves to fuck my ass, always face down on the bed or pushed over a chair. Rough, hard. Makes me moan with the sensation.

First time he fucked my ass, he ordered me to turn around and pushed straight into me. No time. No lube. Just ownership.

Just how I like it.

What dreams may come

I had a very hot dream the other night. No doubt inspired by a heavy weekend of play

In my dream playing with a female friend. Truth be told I have a serious crush on her, started off as non-sexual and now turning into curiosity. She's dommed me before, made me more excited than I thought possible, made me want to please her, do anything for her. And now I want more.

Hence my dream. She ordered me to kneel before her. I remember distinctly looking up at her, not knowing what to do. Fully aware this was the first time I had ever pleasured a woman. She smiled at me and touched my hair, drawing me towards her secret place.

Her hair was trimmed in a neat triangle, her skin looked so inviting, needing to be kissed. As I leaned in my mouth seemed to know what to do. I licked and sucked her, my tongue probed her intimately and I went faster, encouraged by her increasing moans. She came quickly, surprising me. Then gave me a very rewarding smile.

The hottest dream I've had for a long time.

Pollyanna and her orgasms

I don't come easily during sex or sexual play. It doesn't mean that I'm not enjoying what I'm doing. Usually the contrary, I've gone to such a place of ecstasy that I can't let go, I can't find release.

And I find that after a weekend of intensive play where I probably haven't had any release, it could be a few days before I even masturbate. But when I do, it's usually earth shattering, culminating with me screaming out loud.

It probably seems selfish that I do this alone, that my sexual partner isn't there to see the fruits of his/her labour as it were. But for years I've struggled with the the guilt of not coming to order, of disappointing vanilla partners for what they saw was a failing on either of our parts. Now I'm comfortable enough to say that orgasms are a limit for me!

So I'm upfront with all my partners. I don't come during sex, and I'd rather you didn't focus on trying to make me. Yes Ill be squelchingly wet and yes I'm moan and whimper with gusto, but I won't come. And nothing is guaranteed to turn me off more than if you spend hours trying to make me.

For those who think I'm merely throwing down the gauntlet, who think that you are better than every other man or woman I've ever slept with, that you can do it for me, I'm not interested in playing with you. I know my own body better that you ever will. Trust me on this. I can only come if there's no pressure, no expectation and no timeframe.

Your patience and understanding of this limit may one day reward us both, but until then, coming is a solitary pleasure for me.

Rewarding Pollyanna

Mr Rain can seem very cruel. He loves me to make me cry. Loves to beat me until my whimpers turn into tears. Loves to know he has that power over me.

Touches me, makes me squelchinginly wet and then fucks me for his pleasure only. I am for his use. A plaything to be abused.

And the more abused I feel the wetter and more turned on I become.

But there is no release, not when I am with him. He doesn't reward with pleasure, he rewards with pain. And I love it.